i feel the need to talk about what has happened in the past two weeks of my life.. the folks have come and returned, and they left the flat feeling empty and too quiet on sunday after they flew. i was feeling rather out of sorts that day, cos i wanted to go out and talk to people, yet didnt want to socialise at that time either. like.. i think if my friends from singapore were nearby it would have been fine, but the comforts of home in the form of friends werent available. i think that only means that i have to go out and get to know the rest of the ALTs better till i can call them friends whom i'm comfortable with, rather than people whom i'm still in the process of socialising and getting to know.
but somehow i think it's rather different.. back to the whole idea of culture and so on.. i totally understand what another JET wrote in her facebook note about how good it is to meet another californian - more specific even than another american - because you just 'get' each other.. like seriously. i think the whole lingo matters too.. after having communicated and socialised in singlish for the past 22 years, that's my native tongue and there's actually a huge difference between talking to people in english and talking to people in SINGLISH. compounded by the fact that the people whom you speak to in english come from different cultural backgrounds and different experiences from your own, the gap that has to be bridged is actually somewhat significant, and doing so takes effort, which is tiring. to be honest it only just struck me, after the fun time today and reading my friend's post on facebook. maybe i'm not adapting well enough! haha. i have to work harder and try to overcome all these stuff :P
anyway, yes my parents also left me tonnes of stuff like mooncakes, bakwa, durian cake, cornflakes (which is tmdf-ing ex in japan)**, sambal chilli, haebi hiam, wolfberry and dried longnan. yummy! i can more or less eat like a singaporean with my sambal chilli, which i will use with care and prudence.
then yesterday there was an enkai - japanese party of sorts - for the australian teachers who accompanied the students from my school's sister high school down under. it was fun, as i sat with teachers whom i hadnt had the chance to interact with before, and they couldnt really speak english so i was forced to use japanese. it actually felt good and i enjoyed myself tremendously! for some reason - maybe it's just being polite haha - they tend to comment that my japanese is good (when it's far from that) because i know enough for normal everyday life here. and i guess it's true that my current level allows me to get through life in japan without too many difficulties (which frankly isnt all that difficult since there're apparently people who've been here 16 years without speaking any japanese), but the thing is, as a language, i still feel very constrained by my lack of proficiency. like there are so many things that i'd want to say when talking to people, but because i dont know how to express myself i can only convey a fraction of what i'm feeling and thinking.. same thing when it comes to listening in on conversations going on around me. and i cant read the newspapers either! and all the advertisements and blah blah.
nothing much else has been happening actually. bringing my parents around has allowed me to orient myself around osaka station - which is a HUGE help - and i think i've definitely adapted to the place. the challenge to overcome now is the social aspect, and i think that's of course going to be more difficult. i need to really get myself going for japanese classes and hopefully yoga or dance classes soon, and i must definitely exercise. i will try to force myself to go jogging this week. yup. anyhow, back to the social aspect.. i think i've been doing so much talking about it to people over the past couple of days that i dont have to go over it again, but yes. that's definitely something i have to work on. that and the need to find some free time to sit down and think about stuff in general!
*: i apologise if the title has nothing to do with the post itself!
**: i didnt request for cornflakes, but somehow my mum decided that i needed cornflakes - bless her warped sense of logic this time - and brought me 3 boxes. frankly i'm EXTREMELY thankful for that, as it was a very pleasant surprise - i requested all the other stuff that came over! heh.
0 comments:
Post a Comment