thoughts on the nearing of the end

(this was actually triggered by the next post, so go read that one – it’s more interesting anyway!)

it’s only slightly less than 3 weeks left till the end of this JET experience. i feel like i ought to get reflective on the past 2 years that i’ve spent in this country, but for some reason i’m not really thinking about much at all.

for one, i’m not sure whether this will indeed be the end of Japan – i’m still interviewing for a job (note the ‘a’: jobs are hard to find here if you’re not interested in teaching, have no experience beyond JET and are less than highly fluent in Japanese) and if i succeed i’ll be coming back to Osaka really soon.

also, the ‘T’ part of JET had more or less died a long time ago. I think i’ve tuned out the teaching aspect (or lack thereof) in order to maintain my sanity ever since the disillusionment started a little more than a year ago, so there won’t be any reflections on that count either. i’m happy to be done with teaching English in Japan; i don’t think i ever want to do it again (even taking on private students), although if i’m going home for good i do intend to set up some language exchange with one or two of the many Japanese people in Singapore.

plus, i’m more than ready to move on to doing something different – teaching English here was challenging, in a way, but i’m looking forward to something that will push my limits in a good way; something that’ll develop new skills and hone existing ones. i want to do something that will keep me engaged and interested; i want to get that excitement and adrenaline from actually working and moving and thinking.

perhaps i sound rather unhappy being on JET; that’s quite far from being the case though. the JET Programme is what gave me the chance to be here in the nice country that is Japan, in the wonderful city of Osaka – it’s what opened my eyes to so many sights and sounds and tastes.

interestingly, i dont feel like i’ve learnt the most about Japan – of course i have discovered a lot about the country that can only be gleaned from being here, but ultimately Japan isn’t that culturally different from Singapore; the sociocultural quirks of Japan do not irk me half as much as they do some other JETs*. instead, JET has been more like my discovery of the ‘west’ and exposure to the greater world beyond – despite what some friends back home might think of me, i’m still terribly Asian when put beside someone who’d been brought up in the ‘west’.

another huge reason why i’m not reflecting on these past 2 years in Japan is because to do so i will have to compare it to what life will be after this** – and the thought of that so far has mainly resulted in tears, sadness and horror. If i’m going back to Singapore, it’ll be back to living with the family again (*shudder*); either way it’s gonna be being oceans away from The Boy who’s also going home himself. “No problem shall be faced'/ Until the problem is”; i have taken Thom Gunn’s words to heart and am intent on spending the rest of my days here as a JET happily.

perhaps i will do more reflection after i’ve left Japan!

 

*: often, i also wonder if Singaporeans might be just a little bit more adaptable to cultural differences too (i do know of several Singaporeans do certainly think so), in that we just don’t get so bothered about some things. for example, the Brit finds it rather perplexing that classrooms tend to have the curtains drawn and the artificial lights on, when it’s really nice and bright outside so the curtains should be open and the lights off instead. he can sometimes go mental in a classroom that’s like that. Him and some others also get really bothered by the extra bright lighting inside conbinis; to be honest i never noticed it until i heard them talking about it.

**: of course i can and should also look at what life was before JET. now i have money, life in Japan is great and i love living alone – even if i werent one who doesn’t look back on things, there really isn’t much more to compare here!